Reality
by Kirlial
Summary: Her brother is alive and it's a miracle as far as anyone is concerned. But he's still pale and sickly and probably still distant. How has he been affected by the experience? She's watching and dreading the answer.
1. The story

**Hey there, here's a little Suguha centric story that I wrote for fun. I'm not sure if I'm satisfied with the results but I'd thought I'd post it anyway. **

**Suguha is completely unaware of anything that happened in Sword Art Online, by the way, and she's not about to ask her brother about it.**

**Hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

Five days had passed since the end of her brother's long coma, where he had been trapped inside a virtual reality. Since waking up he'd had some important interviews with high up figures about the game but mostly it had been physical examinations.

Her brother was strong though and while he couldn't move without support it didn't matter, because he was finally awake and at home. Even their father had appeared so that they could eat lunch together as a family. Kazuto was extremely weakened but Suguha was certain that he was recovering.

"So have you had a rough week?" Her mother asked tentatively, now that they were seeing each other for the first time, she wasn't quite sure what to say.

They'd visited him in the hospital after he'd woken up of course and had already said how relieved they were at his recovery and how they'd missed him and Kazuto had replied in kind. It had been a most heartfelt reunion, never had they felt so lucky or thankful.

Now though, they weren't sure whether to discuss his coma or simply avoid the situation entirely. But there wasn't much else to talk about as his dire situation had practically defined the last two years. And they didn't yet know how much he'd changed from the experience.

"It's strange being so weak," Kazuto answered evenly, delicately gripping his chopsticks in his right hand.

Her brother looked incredibly fragile every time he made even the slightest of movements. They had accepted that it would be the result if he would ever recover and it had seemed like such a small concern compared to his revival. That was still true but his movements were rather pathetic.

Plus there was the long, limp hair proving that he'd physically grown older while in the coma which somehow managed to give him a fairly feminine look. Or it was the weight he'd lost, giving his features the more delicate and less masculine look.

Her mother nodded in agreement though not understanding. She could not imagine what Kazuto would be going through even if she was very sympathetic. "I'm sure you'll be able to walk without support soon," she replied gently.

He glanced down at the pair of crutches next to him with distaste for it was clear he hated being so dependent on them. That was probably why he'd insisted on not having a wheelchair. He didn't want to feel crippled though Suguha didn't think he should be so embarrassed. He'd been through a traumatic experience after all.

"But how long until I'll be able to run and fight?" Kazuto asked, frustrated.

Both mother and father paused at the strange way he'd phrased that. He was asking how long it would be to regain his fitness, until he was as strong as he'd been before the coma, but fight? Why would her dear brother ever want to fight anyone? Or even think about it while still so weakened. He'd never been very aggressive before.

"Within a year hopefully," her mother replied before the momentary silence could become too awkward.

Kazuto sighed, nibbling on some rice. They continued to eat in a somewhat relaxed silence but Suguha kept shooting worried glanced at her brother and noticed her parents doing the same. She couldn't imagine what he was going through and wanted to help him yet he was so distant.

"Suguha?" Kazuto said her name quietly.

"Yes?" She was surprised to be addressed. He wasn't very talkative, especially around her or the rest of her family.

"Do you still practice Kendo?"

Suguha blinked in confusion at the question. Kazuto had dropped out of Kendo when he was seven and he had never held much love for the subject. Even stranger for him to ask things about her! Maybe he was trying to figure out what he'd in missed in the last few years.

"I'm hoping to be in the regionals soon actually, it's going well though I'm a little worried," she replied eagerly, hoping it would sound like a normal conversation. Maybe he wanted to pretend the coma never happened.

"Nonsense, your form is excellent," her father spoke proudly. Suguha smiled sincerely for it was rare to receive any compliments from her father. Rare to see him at all actually.

"Maybe..." Kazuto started but broke off.

"Yes?" Her mother prodded.

He seemed a bit uncomfortable. "I wanted to pick it up again," he admitted shyly.

Another long pause. Such a strange thing for him to say even ignoring his current physical condition. Suguha wished they could immediately encourage him but it would be impossible for him to participate in any sorts of sports for a while.

"That's something to consider," her mother said in a comprising tone. She couldn't agree but it'd be wrong to crush his spirits.

Kazuto nodded as if he had expected that answer. "Then may I visit this hospital?" Kazuto then explained that there was a friend stuck in a relatively nearby hospital and that he had to visit her.

"Wait so you met this girl online?" Her mother asked him cautiously.

"She's quite important to me," he replied defensively.

Mother obviously wished to lecture him about the dangers of online friends but was tactfully hesitating as it concerned the death game. Anything concerning the death game was dangerous to discuss - it could upset her dear brother. And discussing the dangers of an online game would feel like a bad joke.

"Very well but be careful, maybe your sister should come with you just in case," her mother eventually replied, giving her a sharp glance. It wasn't necessary; Suguha would've wanted to help and care of him.

"And I'd like to meet this girl at some point," her distant father chimed into the conversation with some severity in his voice.

Kazuto was nodding reluctantly at mother but turned abruptly to their father at his words. His eyes looked like they were burning, so filled with emotions. It was the most expression she'd seen in him in forever, a big contrast to the dull look he'd been previously wearing.

"She's still in a coma."

The family froze, and Suguha became worried that they'd finally tripped on one of those metaphorical land mines that surrounded her sick brother. This girl that he hadn't even met in real life meant a lot to him for some weird reason.

But then Kazuto relaxed and calmed down. Having finished eating, he was slowly and awkwardly getting up from the table, gripping his clutches to help himself stand up. Suguha could feel his annoyance at relying on them to move. He'd been stuck in a coma for so long though that this was inevitable. Really, he was recovering quickly and being strong in his condition.

"Let's go then, Suguha," Kazuto said, letting out a sigh. He didn't want her to come but was aware that he needed her for purely physical support.

Still she got up, after glancing at both of her parents for permission, and walked next to him, ready to offer her support. He rejected her arm until they had walked through the front door and away from the searching gazes of their parents and then he practically leaned on her for support, even with the crutches. So reluctant to show his weakness.

His muscles were simply unused to working and needed time before they could function. That terrible game had robbed him of more than two years of his life and were still such a huge toll on his strength. Suguha wanted to help him very much.

They walked along in silence, heading over to the bus stop; walking any long distance would be impossible though Kazuto wouldn't admit it. It was a warm, lazy sort of afternoon; perfect for walking at such a gentle pace.

Eventually as they were waiting, her brother broke the silence. Their relationship had always been strained but Suguha hoped that the 'experience' had maybe, possibly made him think about reconsidering that.

"So tell me about your Kendo," he said in a too casual voice, like he'd rehearsed it. And it was certainly a strange topic to choose.

Kendo was something he had bitter memories of and he'd abandoned it. Suguha had taken it up instead of him but it had always been an awkward subject. Maybe he was simply so fragile now that he'd finally started to let go of that bitterness. It was too hard to judge and she was a little reluctant to discuss her Kendo however.

"There's the prelimaries in three weeks, that'll lead to the regionals," she provided, half-hoping he'd drop the subject.

Kazuto nodded. "The preliminaries is where anyone can enter, right? And you're almost certain to get through," he replied, giving her a tentative smile.

She returned it heartily. "That's right - I'm expected to go quite far in it." She hoped that wasn't saying too much, Kazuto's face was unreadable to her.

"You're very hard-working, if I remember correctly," Kazuto replied in agreement. That simple statement showed that he'd missed some of her life too.

"...thanks."

* * *

They were at the hospital watching a pretty girl sleep. It wasn't quite what Suguha had been hoping for when going out with her dear brother. It was strange to think this wasn't only the first time she had seen the girl but possibly the first time her brother had seen her in real life as well. Did he truly meet her whilst in the game?

Still, Suguha tentatively held her brother's hand which was warm and soft despite being frail. It wasn't a new thing for her to stare at someone sleeping unusually still in a coma, their senses absolutely dead to the world. She didn't like that Kazuto would willingly do it too though; she didn't want him to spend more time at the hospital than necessary. She had imagined many times what would happen if he recovered and it never ended with him still and silent and unhappy. Why couldn't he be laughing outside, drinking in sunshine to bring colour to his pale, sickly complexion?

She did not say anything out loud though; he almost certainly wouldn't listen to her anyway. She did give his hand a gentle squeeze though, letting him know that she was here for him when he needed it. She loved him after all, even if he didn't understand her and, though it was hard to admit it even to herself, she didn't understand him all that well either. That intent stare he gave the sleeping girl was an absolute mystery, for instance.

This sleeping girl was something Suguha had no answer for. Kazuto was looking at the girl with such care in his eyes that it made her a little envious, almost. But she reassured herself that whatever feelings there appeared to be couldn't be altogether real as they only knew each other from the terrible game. Suguha couldn't trust anything from such a horrible game and therefore wasn't about to trust that girl. How could she? The girl looked innocent enough just lying there but even unconscious she was keeping Kazuto inside the horrible hospital. Kazuto deserved to be outside enjoying himself, not sitting there looking depressed and ill.

Suguha tugged her brother's hand again and shot him a comforting smile when he glanced at her. She'd be here to remind him that he was alive and she was with him. It was real for her and she'd make sure it was real for him too.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Currently this is just a one-shot though if you like it I may expand it some more. Still, right now I want to focus on my other story, cursed hero, so I can't say how often I'd update it. I would appreciate any reviews or comments you have though.**

**The idea here was that Suguha and family didn't properly understand that Kazuto was actually in a game; they imagined him sleeping and couldn't quite realise that he'd met people and learned how to fight monsters and basically have an adventure in a different world. They don't understand him and aren't sure how to act around him. Not sure if I got that across very well.**


	2. And then some

**Greetings, so I was rather stunned at the number of reviews this little story has garnered, most of which asking for more. I've been a bit hesitant about writing more as I'm not sure it measures up to the first chapter or if my ideas for a plot would be popular. Also I've never tried changing viewpoint in a story before but this chapter will be from Kazuto's point of view.**

**Still I do hope you enjoy it anyway! Either way I'm pleased at how the first chapter was received.**

* * *

Breathing. The sensation of the living. Maybe the fact that it was so hard to take in enough air showed how much he wanted to be alive. Asuna's breath had been almost silent, he recalled. Was she only trapped because she wasn't trying hard enough? Didn't she wasn't to be alive too?

Kazuto was still save for the rise and fall of his chest. The game hadn't emulated breathing perfectly and the real thing felt very good. He was still trying to get used to it. Maybe that's why he was able to simply lie on his bed as if waiting for something to happen and just listen to the sound of his breathing.

Still, it was easier being in his room rather than trying to face the outside world. It was a maelstrom of different feelings and sensations that he'd previously taken for granted but were now so refreshing after being starved of them for so long. Well they were overwhelming too. Aincrad did have these artificial sensations and for a while it had felt like a second world but it simply couldn't succeed in grasping the vividness of reality.

Not that anything seemed all that vivid in terms of colour. Aincrad had been a bright world, filled with grass and flowers that would simply seem striking here where everything was just a little duller, not created to look bright and alive. Still, it was far from unpleasant and he wondered just when the bright colours of Aincrad had begun to grate on him.

Kazuto lifted his right arm high above his head, staring at it. It felt stiff and within seconds it started to ache a bit but he didn't let it drop. His hand looked ever so frail, especially when he recalled his strong virtual hands that could be almost impossibly deft. He twitched his fingers and they were stiff too, like everything he'd attempted to move. It was ever so jarring when compared to his virtual reflexes, which were officially the best in the game.

His eyes shifted to his plain walls of his room which had always been unremarkable. An idea formed in his mind and he let his arm drop to his side, before grabbing a pencil from his side table. He hadn't had much reason to hold stationary in Sword Art Online but the grip on it was very familiar anyway. He leant towards the wall and drew a line on it.

Sure enough, the pencil left its mark. That hadn't been possible in Aincrad, with walls classed as 'immortal objects'. For a world that was supposed to mimic reality, it was so perfectly designed that there were many limitations. Something as easy as drawing on the wall had been utterly impossible and everyone's favoured way of playing had always been to exploit the system. There was many, many flaws that could be picked up if you were in the game long enough. And everyone had been.

Kazuto allowed himself to drop the pencil and relaxed his head against his pillow once again. Even just lying here, it was impossible to mistake this for a game. The real question was whether he actually preferred it.

Living in a game was not sustainable seeing as you couldn't produce food or anything to care for yourself, nor were you contributing to society in anyway but regardless of that, it had been fun. The dying part had been ridiculous and made everyone feel bitter in there but the game had been exciting.

Then again, as much as he loved playing games, he did want to stop every so often or maybe try different genres after being in one for a while. Sword Art Online had eliminated any choice and killed quite a lot of the fun very effectively. Even trying to relax couldn't be done all the time if they wanted to ever get out.

Overall Kazuto was certain that he didn't want to have been stuck in that game. Only now that he was out though he wasn't sure if he could endure living in such a slow and clumsy body. He wasn't planning on going back in a Virtual reality any time soon, given that it had been just six days since getting out of the first one. Even so, he wanted to do something very much, but his limits were scaring him.

He sighed, sitting up with only a small amount of effort. He shakily tried to stand up, grabbing his sturdy cane for some extra support. He was getting to the stage where he was balanced even without it but moving effectively was still a chore. Shrugging on a jacket that had been hanging by the door, he left his room.

He hardly taken a step out of his own room before Suguha walked (with great ease) out of hers. Kazuto was almost certain that this was no coincidence and that she was just there to offer help, like she was obliged to.

"May I help?" She asked timidly, not looking at his face. Suguha seemed so nervous about being insensitive that she was acting almost like he was as fragile as glass.

Of course, they'd been distant before Sword Art Online and he recalled talking to Silica - Reiko – about how he wanted to mend their relationship. Still, Suguha had changed a great deal from the smaller and chirpier girl who had been so eager to please that she hadn't been able to understand it when Kirito had stopped being so caring. Now she was calmer and more quiet but also far more sensitive at reading moods.

This Suguha was cautious around him, like she understood him better now except she didn't. Two years was a long time and both of them had changed. Suguha hadn't grasped that he'd had a life and did change while stuck in the game. He had nothing to show for it however, all she could see was that he was weaker.

He allowed her to take him downstairs though and he quietly informed her that he just wanted to sit outside for a while. She gave a single nod in reply. She led him outside in silence and he couldn't find any words to say to her. Fixing the broken bonds was far harder than Silica –Reiko- had made it sound when they'd talked.

They sat down on a low garden wall, Suguha immediately awkwardly shifting away from him but not actually leaving. It was slightly chilly but breathing felt better outside for some reason. The air was remarkably refreshing and in his warm jacket, the cold was hardly a concern. Being outside felt healthier than being in his room, alone.

He experimented with opening and closing his fingers, trying to get used to the stiff sensation of moving them. He could see that Suguha was watching him, probably bored. As he tilted his head towards her though, she immediately looked away. Were they attempting to keep each other at arms' length?

Kazuto yawned, recalling seeing Asuna just yesterday. This morning, his mother (his father had left early as normal) she had advised him to only go to the hospital every three days and focus more on recovering. Asuna's recovery was important too though, recalling her just lying on the hospital bed was a chilling thought. He didn't know what he could do for aside from lend support by sitting next to her.

Absently he put his hands into the pocket of his jacket, feeling a note he'd scrawled down last night. With Suguha looking at him he didn't get it out as her reaction would likely not be a pleasant one. In three weeks' time there would be multiple stadiums hosting preliminaries for the National Kendo tournament and that would be the perfect place to prove he had skills that mattered somewhere.

Despite everything, Kazuto was proud to have beaten Sword Art Online. It was such a unique experience and he had made friends and worked hard. Sadly, most of what he learned wouldn't apply to the real world and he was two years behind in terms of education. It wouldn't be amazing if his little sister was past his level by now. She was now far fitter too with all that Kendo she'd worked hard on in real life.

While Kazuto wasn't that tough, he at least thought that he could fight well. He'd carried a pair of swords every day for two years and there was never a day in which he hadn't been fighting. He knew how to keep fluid, deliver devastating strikes and read his opponents. The main drawback was that he wasn't sure just how well he could lift a kendo blade or if he fight for very long. If he was to fight, the battles would need to be quick and decisive. It was a crazy idea.

"Kazuto?" Suguha was looking at him.

He turned to her robotically. "Yes?"

"Oh - it's nothing really. You've been dealing with this admirably, that's all," she replied swiftly, blushing for some reason.

Suguha sounded like she'd wanted to say something else. He wondered why she might have changed her mind. She could act ever so strangely.

"Thank you. You can go inside if you're bored though. I'm not going anywhere," he replied softly. Strangely, even his mouth seemed slightly stiff, making him talk slowly, giving the impression of great care with his words. It was easier to say very little.

Suguha hesitated, looking conflicted. Something had to be troubling her but he couldn't begin to guess at what it might be. After a moment, she stood up however, giving him a cautious smile. "Do call if you…" she began before trailing off.

Kazuto could tell that she'd meant 'call if you need me' and that was apparently too awkward for her to say audibly. She really did think he would throw a fit at the wrong string of words, didn't she? "Don't worry." He answered her simply.

She scampered off, giving him side glances until she'd retreated through the doorway. She was probably going to be in her room for the next few hours; Kirito had noticed that she spent a lot more time in there than she used to but supposed that it was fairly normal behaviour as a teenager. Or perhaps she'd finally gotten used to living without him there to entertain her. Not that he had ever been particularly engaging.

He focussed on moving his arms again, looking for some improvement after this practice but he was only getting tired of exerting such work on arms and legs that hadn't had to move in over two years. It was no wonder that his family hadn't quite grasped that he had been fighting for his life almost daily in Sword Art Online when all they could see was his physical body deteriorating.

He wondered if there was some way to tell them about what he had experienced though he couldn't imagine himself initiating that sort of conversation. How could he explain the thrills of creeping through dungeons or the close relationship he had nurtured with Asuna? Maybe that's why the idea of secretly going to a preliminary kendo round was so lucrative, even if it was stupid. Even if he wouldn't get very far in any tournament despite the amount of skills he'd picked up.

Kazuto sighed, wishing yet again for all his strength to return.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! I'm not sure if Kazuto sounds in character or not, nor if there should've been more interaction with over characters. **

**To be clear, if I did continue this, I'd like to think it'd be slowly diverging from canon though I know there hasn't been any changes to initiate that. Once again, thanks for all your lovely reviews and I'll see if I can draw up enough inspiration for more.**

**Please do leave a review - I appreciate them. **


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